Before They Go

By Ashley K. McCardia

Parenting is funny in the way that the days can be so long and then you blink and another year has passed by. Blink again and you are buying graduation tickets. With almost no warning, our kids become full grown humans with their whole lives ahead of  them. Life really does move at the speed of light, and while 18 isn’t the end for us as parents, it is the closing of a chapter in our lives, and the end of our children’s childhoods. Parents are often left wondering where the time went.

We become so busy driving to this ball game and that recital, determined to pack in as much extracurricular ‘filling’ as we can so our children are well rounded. Sometimes we forget to actually live life alongside these babies of ours.

I’ve been doing some thinking about the new school year and what I can do to really savor my time with our girls. What can I do to make sure between all the coming, going and studying that there are small pockets of time for living and memorable experiences?

I love the idea of a parenting “bucket list.” Of course, not something that sits stuck to my fridge with a piece of scotch tape that haunts me each day. Not a guilty reminder that I am not doing enough to enjoy my time as a mom, but something small that is a reminder to pause the chaos and just live. How many of us spend every waking moment going and doing? We miss out on the good stuff sometimes.

So I propose that we each sit down and write a small list of ideas. Perhaps not a planned trip to Disney or a cruise, but maybe a weekend getaway to a B & B on the beach with an overnight bag each where you can chase the ghost crabs with your kids, or sit out at night and listen to the ocean next to your babies and hear them talk about life as they know it. Think of something you’d love to experience together with your kids instead of always watching them participate in an activity.

One of the things I’d put on my list has to do with seeing my oldest daughter conquer her fears. She is terrified of high places. I would love the experience of a successful hot air balloon ride with her. Having the chance to see her face when we landed back on the ground would be such a highlight in my parenting journey and probably a defining moment in her childhood! Seeing her check off a conquered fear would be a magical moment for both of us.

Busy is a great thing to be, but sometimes it is an excuse to not really live. I am so guilty of this. The ultimate over-packer when it comes to our girls, I want the best for them; that they have the education and special talents that will set them apart in college. At the same time, my prayer is that these little sisters go into adulthood having experienced life, too. Those are the things they will remember most, and so will we.

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