By Diane Danois
As the dust from the divorce settles, as stated by Bellaire, TX child support lawyers, and parents enter into new love relationships, a whole new dynamic forms between the grownups. How they interact after obtaining child custody visitation, will define how the children will react and learn how to build their own healthy relationships in the future. That’s why family solicitors and divorce lawyers are vital when you are in the process of divorce and filing for the child’s custody. So make sure that you hire professionals like the DuPage County divorce attorney. It needs professional guidance when you’re facing this kind of situation, especially when considering marrying a divorced man with children. Let’s look at how two different families manage the classic elementary school classroom party, the perception by the child, and the overall impact on the child. People can also hire attorneys for civil lawsuits, from here!
Version 1: Mom goes to classroom with new husband, has a group hug with child, and they participate in party. Dad and new wife arrive 15 minutes later, ignore mother and new husband, give a sheepish wave to the child, and stand awkwardly in the back of the room. Child is happy to have both parents present in classroom, but doesn’t know which parent to acknowledge first, and whether to embrace stepparents. The obvious tension between the parents is palpable, and the child could feel embarrassment, confusion, sadness, etc.
Version 2: Mom and Stepmom have both volunteered to help out the teacher with the party, and are both actively participating in the classroom. Mom and Stepmom smile, praise child together, and work cooperatively with each other. Dad and Stepdad converse, take pictures, and laugh with child. Though all four parents may dislike one another, the child perceives nothing hostile and feels only comfort and love from all parents.
In Version 1 of the scenario, the child bears the burden of the effects of the parents’ divorce as explained by divorce attorney salt lake city, and may feel discomfort not knowing how to behave without hurting one of the parents. If the child embraces the stepmom, will the mother be offended? If the child high-fives dad, will the stepfather be upset? Conversely, in Version 2, the child’s interactions with all four parents is seamless because the adults are focusing solely on the child. The child is relaxed and enjoying the classroom event, without fear of humiliation, discomfort, etc. When parents and stepparents actively co-parent with the childrens’ best interests at heart, there are less opportunities for disagreements turning into battles. For divorce services in Anne Arundel County, people can click on the link and get the most trustworthy services. If you are looking for a divorce lawyer Chicago, you may visit websites like https://www.divorcelawyerschicago.org/.
Tips for Successful Co-Parenting with Bio and Step Parents:
1. Wake up every morning to the same mantra: What will I do today that is in the best interests of the children?
2. Do Unto Others: Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and ask yourself how you would like to be treated in the same situation.
3. Remember that adults are supposed to be role models. Children won’t distinguish between biological or step parents, when they perceived that they are cared for equally.
4. Know your place in the hierarchy, and don’t over step the boundaries. As a step parent, respect the decisions of the biological parent, especially in front of the child.
5. Recognize that children can love equally, but differently. If you don’t impose any feelings of awkward- ness, a child will love all parents freely.
6. Understand that your children love all of you, want you to be happy in your grown up lives, and most of all, are troubled when you fight in front of them. Keep your disagreements “between yourselves.
The building blocks for your child’s future relationships start at home. Think about this and act accordingly.
Diane Danois, J.D. Family Law Mediator & Divorce Coach
954-850-1429