When life feels like the world is at your feet…when, as the song says, “Everything’s going my way,” it may be time for a healthy dose of reality. Eight years ago, overachiever Heath White was at the top of his game – as he had always been. He was an Air Force Captain who flew missions piloting bombers and had the respect of his fellow officers and airmen. A dedicated, competitive athlete, he ran marathons and always finished in the top positions. He was married to the girl of his dreams and they had a beautiful, perfect daughter named Pepper, now 9.
This isn’t a story about lost limbs or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is about NOT getting what you want. When he and his wife Jennifer found out that baby #2 was on the way, they were thrilled once again. It was some follow-up testing that indicated the girl had Down Syndrome…and Heath’s perfect world crumbled around him. Imperfect thoughts began to invade his previously ordered world. “It was like a punch in the gut…and it was like experiencing a death of sorts,” Heath tells us.
In denial at first, his emotions turned to anger and this strong man who’d always had his way found himself bargaining with God. “If he’d only make her normal, I promised I’d go back to church.” Heath confesses, “I didn’t want Jennifer to have the baby. This wasn’t something we needed in our lives.”
When Paisley arrived, she was a beautiful little girl with dark hair and probing eyes. Heath didn’t have much to do with her. Jennifer feared that he might run away, distancing himself from all of them. Paisley wasn’t what he’d wanted. She wasn’t perfect. But one day, while tickling her, the laughter that emanated from her tiny self reached into his heart and snapped him back to his senses. He decided to run…and take her with him.
If there was a marathon, they were doing it, and he always made it about Paisley. Her stroller always emblazoned with the words Down Syndrome, Heath ended up with the name of her chromosomal anomaly tattooed boldly across his perfectly sculpted chest. He was, and still is, telling the world that “different” doesn’t mean “imperfect.” After 7 years of marathons and memories together, Heath and Paisley retired from running together after a monumental 321 miles, because Down Syndrome happens when there is a 3rd generation of the 21st chromosome”
Since then, Paisley is growing up happy and strong in her Kindergarten class in Louisiana, and running short marathons herself. Dad has gone on to compete in seven marathons in seven months, all pushing someone with special needs.
“Before Paisley,” Heath says, “I thought of my kids as a reflection of me. I worried about how Paisley’s genetic mutation was a reflection of me, but
she can find the light in the darkest places in my soul and reflect them with warmth. It’s not all about me…I thought I was the main character in the story, but now I see that I’m just a supporting character in Paisley’s story.”
Today, Paisley is 7 and has two more sisters, Tex, 3 and Rebel, 18 months. Jennifer and Heath have recently moved from Coconut Creek to Louisiana, “Where we can all get involved in 4-H,” Dad tells us. 40 years old and a special agent with the FBI, Heath says that Paisley has taught him more than any other life lessons. He chokes up and closes his office door before saying, “She’s opened my eyes to a completely different thought process on human worth and value. Everybody has lessons to teach you and you have to be open to them, without coming in with any preconceived judgments. I’ve also learned in my running that victory doesn’t come from the defeat of others, but from doing what you thought was impossible.”
And once again, Heath White’s life is perfect. Happy Father’s Day to you and all Amazing Dads!!
See ESPN’s story about the Whites on Youtube at E:60 Perfect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4foXehDmWs
