By Jeremy Adkins
A little over a year ago I lost my wife and soul mate of fifteen years to complications from birthing our fifth daughter. To say the last year has been challenging would be an understatement. I realize that my wife made up for a lot of my shortcomings as a Father and I write these tips to you knowing that these are five things that I as a parent constantly fall short on. I hope they help you during this Father’s Day and you can make a resolution to be aware of these pitfalls.
1. Work comes first – As fathers it is such an easy trap to fall into, our role as men naturally makes us feel like we have to kill something and drag it home. You can take off work to make that school event, just make it a priority.
2. Tune out – Sometimes after working a long day all you want to do is come home and veg out on the couch. While there is nothing wrong with down time, try not to make it an all night thing. Just spend a few minutes with your child with no distractions and find out how their day went.
3. Avoid difficult conversations – Whether it’s dating, drugs and alcohol, or choosing friends, it can be so easy to avoid difficult conversations. Our children are thirsty for instruction, whether they act like it or not. Don’t be afraid to have those conversations and, as you share the mistakes that you have made in the past, you will be shaping a better future for them.
4. Make them feel guilty – We all make mistakes and we all recognize that we are human but, for some reason, we constantly expect our kids to be perfect. One of the worst things that we can do as fathers is to make our children feel guilty about mistakes they make. We need to build our children up and be encouragers of the strengths we find in them.
5. Never take time for yourself – While it may not be an obvious way to screw up your kids, if you never take time for yourself then your patience with your children can wear thin. If you are married, get a sitter and make a regular date night with your wife. Maybe have a night out with the guys if you can swing it.
This Father’s Day, may your day be filled with rest and may you be surrounded by those that you love.
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